155+ Funny Tequila Captions and Quotes You Can’t Forget

Having problems at work? Suffering a devastating breakup? Want to de-stress? Looking for a breather? On vacation in Mexico? Then enjoying several shots of tequila is appropriate for you current situation. Together with some salt and a slice of lime or lemon, this alcoholic drink derived from blue agave is a (temporary) solution to life’s biggest problems. Tequila calms the nerves, heats up your body, and triggers the “must have fun” state of mind.

Whether you’re at the bar or at home, these tequila captions, quotes, and taglines honor this timeless Mexican drink. No chaser needed.

Two shots of tequila.

Tequila Captions

These captions are ideal for social media captions and business taglines.

• A great way to start a New Year is to have a shot of tequila.
• Summer is the tequila season.
• You don’t need training to drink tequila the crafty way.
• Too much tequila can leave you wondering where your clothes are.
• Tequila! It helps people lower their standards.
• Happy tequila day—every day.
• Tequila is my happy hour.
• You know, I have mixed drinks with my feelings.
• Your spirit animal is a tequila.
• Straight down tequila, please.
• No one said too much tequila.
• You know what’s cool about tequila? It’s a versatile drink.
• After several shots of tequila, politics is thrown out the window.
• Wanna be smart in no time? Drink tequila. Such intelligence is temporary though.
• Tequila is the juice of the gods.

Agave plants.

Tequila Quotes

What do famous people say about tequila?

• “We should all believe in something, and I believe it’s time for another shot of tequila.” – Justin Timberlake
• “And no one drank just one shot of tequila.” – Kristin Hannah
• “Tequila is my salmon.” – Eddie Redmayne
• “Tequila. Straight. There’s a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won’t go down. Then you know you’ve reached your limit.” – Lee Marvin
• “Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey.” – Jackson Rathbone
• “At least you don’t need a prescription for tequila.” – Rachel Vincent

“O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate” – Tom Robbins

• “Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.” – Mark Danielewski
• “I have been instrumental in banning bottled water on the set. It hasn’t gone that well with the crew… so I replaced it with tequila.” – Hugh Laurie

Related Reading: 101+ Funny Drinking Margarita Captions and Quotes for Social Media 

• “Pour me another tequila, I’m going to put on your red satin dress. You put on my clothes.” – Bobby Bare

“I’ve been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it’s never been about drinking to get drunk.” – Sammy Hagar

• “I used to drink beer and smoke pot before I played. Now I drink tequila and smoke pot. So it’s a little different.” – Tre Cool
• “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gave them tequila and have a party.” – Ron White
• “It was too much Tequila, or not quite enough.” – Jimmy Buffett
• “When life gives you lemons, get tequila and salt.” – Sanjaya Malakar

Tequila, Lime, and Salt.

Tequila Taglines

Need a tagline for your at-home tequila bar? Check out these taglines.

• Save precious water. Drink tequila.
• Our tequila is so hot it makes them take off their clothes
• We deal with life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
• When you drink enough tequila, trust me: you become a lawyer, doctor, and scientist.
• First, tequila.
• Salt, tequila, lime. Repeat.
• Soup of the day is tequila.
• Senorita tequila.
• Don’t eat the worm!
• Tequila. It fixes everything.
• Common denominator of exercise and tequila? Both make you feel good.
• If you feel salty today, come in and let’s have some tequila.
• Tequila—because being an adult is hard.
• I feel like the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle.
• I didn’t wear my bifocals. It might be tequila…
• Let’s get tequilaed!
• Te-amo-quila

Tequila Hashtags

These tequila hashtags allow people to easily find your brand on social media platforms.

• #tequilaforlife
• #tequilaislife
• #tequilasunrise
• #nationaltequiladay
• #tequilabar
• #tequilanight
• #tequilalover
• #tequilashot
• #toomuchtequila
• #ilovetequila
• #tequilaislove
• #tequilagirl
• #tequilaguy
• #tequilacocktail
• #tequilatime

Tequila bottle.

Funny Tequila Quotes

Nothing is better than a shot of tequila accompanied with a chaser of humor.

• “’Hakuna Tequila.’ That means ‘no memories.’”
• “Stop trying to make everyone happy. Remember, you’re not a tequila.”
• “One tequila. Two tequila. Three tequila. Floor.”
• “You ain’t ugly but you’re 10 tequila shots away from being my type.”
• “Taking shots of tequila is just another way of saying, ‘I like where I wake up to always be a surprise.’”
• “Well played, tequila. Well played.”
• “I want my tequila and sailor salty.”

Related Reading: 150+ Catchy Beer Captions Perfect for Instagram

• “Lick, swallow, and suck. I lick the salt, swallow the tequila, and suck the lime.”
• “Of course, I had my shots—of tequila.”
• “If you want beautiful memories, drink tequila.”
• “Tequila is cheaper than therapy.”
• “Vote for tequila. You’re making the right choice.”
• “I’m on a tequila diet. So far, I’ve lost 2 days.”
• “Tequila won’t solve your problems. But it’s worth a shot.”
• “I didn’t text you. The tequila did.”

Patron Tequila Quotes

Patron is one of the world’s leading tequila brands. Here are some quotes celebrating this brand.

• “We’re the ultimate in tequila.”
• “Aged to perfection”
• “As the weather cools, get cozy with smooth sipping barrel-aged Patron tequilas.”
• “Discover a depth of flavor only barrel-aged Patrón can add to your favorite Fall pours.”
• “Designed by Mexican muralist Senkoe and inspired by the craft of Patrón, this collectible tin vibrantly brings the myths and culture of Mexico to life.”
• “It’s the cocktail of the moment.”
• “Every drop of Patrón is carefully crafted additive-free for a smooth and complex flavor.”
• “0 percent additives, 100% Patron.”
• “Building a legacy means so much more than tequila.”
• “Beyond the bottle”
• “The perfect way to enjoy Patron is ‘responsibly.’”
• “We have always been additive-free.”
• “It’s no secret that we have a steadfast commitment to crafting the world’s finest tequila, but we’re just as dedicated to taking care of the resources and people that make it possible.”
• “Limiting the environmental impact of our tequila production is and always will be something we hold in the highest regard here at Patrón.”
• “We’re proud to work with so many talented and passionate people here at Patrón. Without them, we wouldn’t be Patrón.”

Jose Cuervo and friends.

Jose Cuervo Captions

Jose Cuervo is a globally popular tequila brand that grew by 19.4% in 2020. Let’s check out what celebrities and singers have had to say about out good friend Jose.

• “And my wife goes ‘Oh, like when Jose Cuervo made you ride the floor buffer?’, and I said ‘Exactly!’” – Bill Engval
• “I did bust all in the face of a perfect dime. I even fell asleep twisted off Cuervo and lime.” – D Block
• “The Cuervo Gold, the fine Columbia make tonight a wonderful thing.” – Steely Dan
• “Tequila drinking, our minds will wander to wondrous places.” – Dave Matthews Band

“Tequila glasses, shots to the head cuz some memories they need assassins.” – Big Sean

• “For the love of Jose Cuervo!” – unknown
• “Jose Cuervo. Time to call friends.” – unknown
• “Hakuna some tequila.” – unknown
• “Keep calm and have a Jose Cuervo.” – unknown
• “There’s always time for a shot of Jose Cuervo.” – unknown
• “Do you know Jose Cuervo? He’s my friend.” – unknown
• “Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a bottle of Jose Cuervo. It’s the same” – unknown
• “All things are possible with tequila and lipstick.” – unknown
• “Jose Cuervo tequila—the spirit of adventure.” – unknown
• “Shot of Tequila, beer on tap. Sweet southern woman set on my lap.” – Alan Jackson

Chips and salsa.

Tacos and Tequila Captions

Tacos and tequila are great partners.

• Don’t forget the tacos on Tequila Tuesday nights.
• Life isn’t all about cheese tacos and tequilas. But don’t you think it should be?
• Today’s weather: tacos with a chance of tequila.
• I run on tacos and tequilas.
• Tacos dippin’, margarita sippin’.
• Perfect combo: tequila and taco.
• Nothing beats a movie night with tacos and tequila on the side.
• Tacos and tequilas are born for each other.
• Tequila is great! But with tacos, it tastes even better.
• Pour some tacos on me!
• The only bad taco is the one that you didn’t eat. The only bad tequila is the one you didn’t drink.
• Feed me tacos and tequila. Then tell me I’m beautiful.
• Be in a two-way relationship with taco and tequila.
• Taco Monday and Tequila Tuesday.
• Exit negativity. Enter tacos and tequila.

Tequila Quotes in Spanish

Serving Mexican or Spanish clients? Want to have a Spanish feel to your bar? Check out these Spanish language tequila quotes.

• “Si la vida fuera tequila me la tomaria en serio”
• “Si la vida te regala limones, pide sal y tequila.”
• “El tequila no cura amores pero como ayuda chingadamadre.”
• “No se cual es la receta de la felicidad pero de que lleva tequila, lleva tequila.”
• “Si no se soluciona congiendo o con unos tequilas, entoces si es un problema.”
• “No tengo idea cual es la receta de la felicidad, pero apuesto que lleva tequila”
• “Botella para mi, tequila para papi”

Related Reading: 500+ Unforgettable Bar Name Ideas I’m Giving Away

• “Doctor, si me deja tomar este tequila, le prometo no beber en mi funeral.”
• “Fiesta, siesta, tequila.”
• “En esta vida no hay nada como un buen amigo.”
• “Ni el vodka ni la tequila me apendeja tanto como tu sonrisa.”
• “Ama perdona Y olvida para todo lo demas, tomate un buen tequila.”
• “Que tus suenos te lleven a la vida que te haga feliz.”
• “Por ti, deje de harcele gestos al tequila ne hice un experto en la bebida.”
• “Me pidio la prueba de amor. Y le di de mi tequila.”

Tequila Love Quotes

For tequila lovers—or if your sweetheart has a passion for tequila—these quotes are for you.

• I love you as much as I love tequila.
• Tequila or not, you’re beautiful.
• Bring the tequila. I’ll bring the nasty decisions.
• Making love is definitely better with tequila.
• Trust me, drink tequila. Then you’ll find me handsome/beautiful.
• Tequila seems to feel better than love.
• Tequila is magic water for a hot couple in love.

My love and some shots of tequila make me crazy.

• Devastated after a breakup? Have a tequila. If you can’t be happy, at least you can get drunk.
• I didn’t say I love you. The tequila did.
• Tequila makes her clothes come off.
• Make time for the things you love. Like tequila.
• Because I drink tequila, I’m one of those girls/boys that you would love to be with your clique.
• “You are the tequila to my margarita.”
• “He was a tequila sunrise after the darkest night.” – EJ King
• “Love is like tequila shots. Not the quantity but the strength matters” – Saru Singhal

Tequila Industry Statistics

Let’s wrap things up with some fast facts about tequila.

• Tequila has 35 to 55 percent alcohol content (70 to 110 proof). It should contain at least 40 percent alcohol (80 proof) so it could be sold in the US and Canada.
• The tequila market worldwide reached a value of more than $10.8 Billion in 2020. It is expected to exceed $14 billion by 2028.
• Over 399 million blue agave plants—the source of tequila—are grown in Mexico each year.
• Generally, tequila is 80 proof. But there are distillers who take it up to 100 proof. Consume with care!
• The best tequila brands do not dilute their products with water. Tequila is commonly used in cocktails like margaritas.
• The US remains the top consumer of tequila with over 254 million liters exported in 2020.

Whether you’re a bartender or a drinker, you can’t wrong with tequila. Use the captions, taglines, hashtags, and quotes above to give your tequila an even bigger oomph! At the very least if you share these captions on social media, a night of drinking tequila will be easier to remember.