One of the most popular alcoholic spirits in the world, Vodka has hundreds of brands from the distinctive names such as Smirnoff and Absolut to the lesser-known brands you can find in your local liquor store at half the price. The vodka industry is valued at more than $29 billion dollars a year in U.S. retail sales alone. Smirnoff is the leading vodka brand in the United States, selling almost nine million cases a year.

Bottles of vodka.

Being one of the most commonly-drunk alcoholic drink in the US, the volume of social media captions for Vodka is astounding. If you need a catchphrase for your vodka-fueled photo, we’re here to help. You can use any of these slogans and quotes to increase shares and comments for any vodka drink.

Funny Vodka Slogans

I tried to say NO to the Vodka… But it’s 40% stronger than me.

Here are some of the funniest vodka slogans we could find.

  • Coffee, you’re on the bench. Vodka… Suit up!
  • Coffee. Rinse. Vodka.
  • For the last time, I did not text you… Vodka did!
  • Hakuna Ma’ Vodka
  • Hand me the Vodka and watch me get fabulous.
  • I found the Vodka… It was hiding in the orange juice.
  • I need a hug, an XL coffee, 6 shoots of vodka and 2 weeks of sleep

I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don’t own an iPad. Also, I’m out of Vodka.

  • If you can’t say something nice about someone, have another Vodka, it’ll come to you.
  • In case of emergency, fill with Vodka.
  • Is it just me or does orange juice taste funny without Vodka.
  • Livin’ La Vida Vodka
  • PMS isn’t anything a large Vodka can’t cure.
  • Red, White, & Blue, and Vodka too.
  • The Breakfast of Champions: Vodka
  • The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with Vodka
  • The Vodka Diet… Lose 3 days in a week.
  • Is Vodka a food group?
  • This Vodka tastes like I’ll be texting you later…
  • Vodka + Beer is the answer… But I don’t remember the question.
  • Vodka is just AWESOME water!
  • Vodka probably isn’t the answer, but it’s worth a shot…
  • When life throws you lemons, add Vodka
  • You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy Vodka, and that’s pretty close.

Vodka Quotes

Ian Fleming quote.

As with most alcoholic drinks, vodka has had its share of quotes from celebrities, as well as a few noted scholars and academics. Browse the best of the best when it comes to vodka quotes that will make you smile or laugh out loud if you’ve already had a few…

  • A medium Vodka dry Martini — with a slice of lemon peel. Shaken and not stirred. – Ian Fleming
  • He buys his roast beef, I buy my bottle of vodka. We get along real good. – Yogi Berra
  • I don’t drink Vodka. I don’t like it. It makes me feel good. – Oscar Levant
  • I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. – Rodney Dangerfield
  • If wine is fruit, then vodka must be a vegetable. – Jann Arden
  • Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate. – Gina Barreca
  • The key factor in the vodka category is smoothness, and smoothness is what our vodka has. Fuzzy Zoeller

The relationship between a Russian and a bottle of vodka is almost mystical. – Richard Owen

  • There’s no absolutes in life, only vodka. – Mick Jagger
  • They say milk gives u strength. Drink three glasses and try moving a wall. You can’t. Drink three shots of vodka and it moves all by itself. – Anonymous
  • Vodka does not ease back pain. But it does get your mind off it. Fuzzy Zoeller
  • Vodka eyeballing sounds great, but it’s a slippery slope. Next, you’ll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling and, before you know it, Jager tainting. – Stephen Colbert
  • Vodka is a very deceptive drink. You can’t taste it, you can’t smell it. – Dylan Moran

Vodka is a wonderful drink. You can drink so much of it without being as hung over as you would if you were drinking one of the brown liquors the whiskeys and such. It’s a great drink to go with appetizers. – Gary Shteyngart

  • Vodka is like water, but with consequences. – Tom Rachman
  • Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up. – Garrison Keillor
  • Vodka is the only thing that makes potatoes palatable, and without vodka, Russia would have won the Cold War. The word itself comes from the Slavic term for ‘water,’ or ‘voda.’ Somehow the ‘k’ sound gives it more of a kick, doncha think? – Steven Kates
  • We drank our coffee the Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterwards. – Philip Sington
  • You say potato, I say vodka. – Karen Walker

Smirnoff Advertising Slogans

Bottle of Smirnoff Vodka.

As the biggest and most popular vodka brand in the United States, Smirnoff has come up with some stunning advertising campaigns over the year. And the slogans are second to none. Here are our favorites, including ones you may not be old enough to remember.

  • Anything’s possible when you learn to handle Smirnoff.
  • Clearly Smirnoff.
  • He’s clearly discovered Smirnoff.
  • Hollywood fell in love with a Mule and Mug.
  • It leaves you Breathless. Smirnoff, the greatest name in Vodka.
  • Labels are for bottles, not for people.
  • Pure perfection.
  • Pure Thrill.

Related Reading: 101 Catchy Whiskey Quotes and Caption Ideas Perfect for Instagram

  • Smirnoff Ice. Intelligent Nightlife.
  • Smirnoff. Be whoever you want.
  • Smirnoff. Not the usual.
  • Smirnoff. The effect is shattering.
  • Smirnoff. Welcome to the Fun%
  • The greatest name in Vodka.
  • The Smirnoff Blizzard. It’s the chilly thing that happens when Smirnoff, Fresca, and lime go on a togetherness kick.
  • There’s vodka and then there’s Smirnoff.

Absolut Vodka Advertising Slogans

Bottle of Absolut Vodka.

Absolut is another of the top brands of vodka in the United States, but it might come as a surprise that they’ve only had one advertising message that’s spanned 22 years. Absolut has adapted along the way and unleashing new ideas based on the same slogan. So let’s check out these Absolut-ely awesome slogans from this unique timeless brand.

  • Our Devotion to Perfection is Absolut.
  • In An Absolut World.
  • Unleash the Raspberry!
  • ‘Absolut Perfection.’ (1980)
  • ‘Absolut Haring.’ (1986)
  • ‘Absolut Security.’ (1986)
  • ‘Absolut L.A.’ (1987)
  • ‘Absolut Larceny.’ (1988)
  • ‘Absolut Subliminal.’ (1989)
  • ‘Absolut Appeal.’ (1990)
  • ‘Absolut Chicago.’ (1990)
  • ‘Absolut Original.’ (1994)
  • ‘Absolut New Orleans.’ (1994)
  • ‘Absolut Paris.’ (1994)
  • ‘Absolut Geneva.’ (1994)
  • ‘Absolut Amsterdam.’ (1994)
  • ‘Absolut Aspen.’ (1994)
  • ‘Absolut D.C.’ (1995)
  • ‘Absolut Achievement.’ (1995)
  • ‘Absolut Revealed.’ (1999)
  • ‘Absolut Squeeze.’ (2002)
  • ‘Absolut Envy.’ (2002)
  • ‘Absolut Texas.’ (2002)
  • ‘Absolut Yoga.’ (2002)
  • Have an Absolut Cocktail

Vodka Advertising Slogans

Grey Goose Vodka Bottles.

There are many more high-label vodka brands in the United States that are less well known to the general public. Here are some advertising slogans from other brands.

  • Artic. 40° from pure wheat.
  • Blavod. Outrageously Smooth.
  • Boru. The Purest Expression of Vodka.
  • Gorbatschow. The pure spirit of vodka.
  • Grey Goose. The world’s best tasting vodka.
  • Gzhelka, Russian vodka – Take me!
  • Romanov. As you like it.
  • Stoli. Freedom of Vodka.
  • Wyborowa. Enjoyed for centuries straight.
  • Wyborowa. Exquisite wodka.

Facts About Vodka

Just the facts Ma’am.

Contrary to popular belief, vodka is not actually a Russian drink. The drink was first distilled in Poland and the word “vodka” is the direct translation of the Polish word, “wódka.” This comes from the Slavic word for water, “voda.”

Vodka in Poland is believed to have first been distilled in the early part of the Middle Ages, sometime before the 10th century. However, there is no written record of the word “wódka” until around 1405 in the court documents from the Palatinate of Sandomierz in Poland.

The father of vodka.

Vodka came to Russia in around the late 14th century, brought in by Genoese ambassadors to Moscow as gifts for the Grand Duke Dmitry Donskoy.

According to legend, in 1430 a monk named Isidore from Chudov Monastery inside the Moscow Kremlin made a recipe for the first true Russian vodka. Early versions of vodka had relatively low alcohol contents, usually well below 40% ABV. It was not until the late 18th century that the alcohol content of vodka slowly increased.

The famous Absolut Vodka of Sweden is a relative newcomer to the scene, since vodka was not used as the name for the drink in the northern European country until the 1950s. A similar beverage known as “brännvin” (“burn-wine”) was the most popular high-alcohol drink previously. This was later made without the traditional flavoring and became known as Swedish vodka.

Vodka is usually unflavored, having only the taste of the alcohol itself. This is part of what makes vodka the ideal spirit for mixing. Modern vodkas come premixed in a variety of creative flavors like blueberry, strawberry and even pickle to name a few. The original vodka of the Nordic countries was seasoned with herbs, fruits, and spices.

Related Reading: 85+ Funny Rum Slogans and Captions Perfect for Social Media

According to the Code of Federal Regulations (27 CFR 5.22), Vodka cannot be aged in wood; it may or may not be charcoal filtered and it must meet minimum distillation and bottling proofs.

The famous artist Picasso was a huge vodka drinker according to legend. Picasso was once quoted as saying; “The three most astonishing things in the past half-century were The Blues, Cubism, and Polish Vodka.” This might account for the style of painting he mastered.

Russia once ran out of vodka completely. On May 9, 1945, the infamous day when Nazi Germany surrendered to the Soviet Union on the eastern front, the Russians partied so hard they ran out of vodka after 22 hours.

Conversely, another crisis was caused when the Russian government tried to ban the sale of vodka during World War I. As a result, the country lost a third of its taxed income. It just goes to show you that bad things happen when you don’t have vodka.

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