It can’t be denied, the kitchen is the heart of any home. This kitchen is the hub of activity from morning, noon, all the way to night. Any time we have company, there’s no question we’ll be huddled around the center island of our kitchen. Usually munching on a board filled with salami, nuts, vegetables, hummus, and often chips and salsa is where you’ll find me.

Growing up, I can recall mostly the same. My parents paid their bills on the kitchen table, prepped meals, and hung out in the room. Memories were made learning to bake, doing homework, eating snacks, and enjoying a hot cup of coffee. The kitchen has zero competition for favorite room in the house.

Eat it or starve.

If you’re looking for the best in funny, sarcastic, and awesome quotes to hang prominently in your kitchen, we’ve got you covered. Any one of these sayings will help express your unique personality, humor, and make this important gathering place reflect you.

Funny Kitchen Quotes

If you are looking for funny quotes to add to your kitchen, then look no further than this list.

  • A clean kitchen is a sign of a wasted life.
  • A good food is mouthwatering when you see it and finger licking when you eat it.
  • A meal without wine is called BREAKFAST!
  • Many people have eaten my food and gone on to lead normal lives.
  • A messy KITCHEN is a sign of happiness.
  • Went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of Aisle 5.
  • Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your mom is making for lunch.
  • Clean the kitchen not because you want to, but because if you don’t Mom will lose her shit.
  • Cooking is about creating something delicious for someone else.
  • D.I.E.T. (Did I Eat That)
  • Fish, to taste right, must swim three times: in water, in butter and in wine.
  • Food doesn’t ask silly questions, food UNDERSTANDS…
  • Get your fat pants ready!

Homemade with love. In other words, I licked the spoon and kept using it.

  • I do not stick to rules when cooking. I rely on my imagination.
  • I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
  • I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”
  • I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for answers.
  • I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it..!!
  • If it doesn’t have meat, it’s a SNACK!
  • If you can organize your kitchen, you can organize your life.
  • It doesn’t matter how expensive your kitchen is if you are a bad cook.
  • May the forks be with you
  • My kitchen was clean last week. Sorry you missed it.
  • My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines.

No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize.

  • No woman ever shot a man while he was washing the dishes.
  • Table manners are for people that aren’t hungry.
  • The dishes are looking at me dirty again…
  • The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house!
  • The perfect food would taste as good as fresh popcorn smells.
  • The secret of clean kitchen is simple. Don’t cook ever
  • The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  • This evening’s forecast includes a 0% chance of me cooking.
  • This kitchen is for dancing.
  • This kitchen is seasoned with love!
  • This kitchen would be clean if only people would stop eating here.
  • Trying to complete a task before the microwave hits 00:00.
  • When I learned how to cook..I forgot how to clean!!

Funny Kitchen Sayings for Your Walls and Frames

My Kitchen. My Rules.

We’ve organized the best of these sayings, so that you can choose the perfect one to hang on your kitchen wall.

  • “VEGETARIAN” is an old Indian word for bad hunter.
  • A watched pot never boils..!!
  • All you need is LOVE and a cup of COFFEE.
  • Always cook with love. Always bake with your heart. Always enjoy yourself.
  • Annoying the cook will result in smaller portions.
  • Chef: A person who cooks shit YOU can’t!
  • Clean up after yourselves, House Elves don’t work here…
  • COOK – EAT – CLEAN – REPEAT

Related Reading: 51 Hilarious Taco Tuesday Slogans, Puns, and Unforgettable Quotes

  • Cooking is LOVE made Edible.
  • Count the Memories, not the Calories.
  • Dozens of people have eaten here and gone on to lead relatively normal lives.
  • FOOD – eat it quickly or you will have to share it.
  • FOOD is essential to LIFE; Therefore MAKE IT GOOD.
  • Food is memories..!!
  • GOOD FOOD is GOOD MOOD.
  • Happiness is HOMEMADE.
  • Happiness is..cooking together..!!
  • Happiness is..Extra DESSERT..!!
  • Happiness is..free food!!
  • Happiness is..my mother’s cooking.
  • I don’t believe in low-fat cooking.
  • I have a passion for not cooking.

I serve three meals: Frozen, Microwave, and Take Out.

  • If you don’t like the food, keep it to yourself.
  • Kitchen closed due to illness: I am sick of COOKING!!
  • Leftovers are for quitters!
  • Made with Love means I licked the spoon then kept using it…
  • Many have eaten here, few have died.
  • More wine, less whine.
  • My cooking is fabulous; even the smoke alarm is cheering on me on.
  • NO cooking allowed, kitchen for display only
  • One day..I’m gonna make the onions cry
  • Sit at the table, take a look, the first to complain is next week’s cook!
  • STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
  • The cook is always right.
  • The kitchen was clean last week, sorry you missed it.
  • The onions aren’t making me cry, it’s being in the kitchen in general.
  • The only time to eat diet food is while you are waiting for the steak.
  • The secret ingredient is ALWAYS cheese.
  • The secret ingredient is always love.
  • Today’s menu – EAT IT or STARVE.
  • Today’s menu has two choices TAKE IT or LEAVE IT.
  • Today’s menu has two choices – Take it or Leave it.
  • Too much Pi gives you a large circumference.

Funny Cooking Quotes

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

  • A guy who knows how to cook is really handsome.
  • An apron is just a cape on backwards
  • Bake it till you make it.
  • BAKE the world a better place
  • Cake makes life just a little sweeter.
  • Cookies are made of butter & love.
  • COOKIES make the world a better place!
  • Cooking is like giving birth because you are mixing things together to create something new and wonderful.

Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with complete abandon or not at all.

  • Cooking is like snow skiing: If you don’t fall at least 10 times, then you’re not skiing hard enough.
  • Cooking makes life happy.
  • Cooking rule: If at first you don’t succeed, order pizza and donuts.
  • Eating is a necessity but cooking is an art.
  • Fitness? I’m fit’ness whole cookie in my mouth
  • Happiness is knowing..there is cake in the oven.
  • I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere 😉
  • I like hash tags because they look like waffles #
  • I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
  • I tried cooking with wine, but after three glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen.
  • I want someone to look at me the way I look at the chocolate cake
  • I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
  • I’m so egg-cited and I just can’t hide it
  • I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

If God wanted me to cook, why did he invent restaur